Extracting Wisdom from the Challenges of Initiation Cycles

The point of the challenges you go through during initiation cycles is to come out of them with wisdom that makes you a better person. Challenges could be things like having to be around someone who really irritates you, a big change at home or work that impacts you, a serious illness – any number of situations and events that could happen that you would see as “bad” or “negative”.

Here are five things you can do to get the most out of challenging times, situations, and circumstances, no matter how long or short the challenge or change is or whether it happens at home or work.

1. Cultivate a healthy dissatisfaction with the status quo

In short, don’t get too married to what things are like now. Be ready to welcome whatever CHANGE comes your way and learn to embrace UPHEAVAL. Normally, you want to ignore different circumstances hoping they just go away. If they don’t, then you probably resist. But as you’ve heard before, “There is nothing constant but change.”

2. Clarify what’s really going on

To do this, back up (figuratively) and see things from a distance, like Impressionist painting. When you see an Impressionist painting up close, you see blotches of paint that don’t make sense. It’s not until you get some distance and a different perspective on it that you can see more of the whole picture. This gives you a better sense of what is really happening and your part in the whole shebang.

3. Look at what you can control

Knowing what you can control keeps you from worrying about or putting time and energy into aspects of the situation that you really can’t change. What you can control is your own behavior, so make sure it is in line with your values.

Also, reflect on how any feelings you have of unworthiness, incompetence, and unlovability are affecting the situation. These are buried deep, but if you trace back from how you’re reacting in the situation, you will most likely discover one or more of these basic limiting beliefs.

Then, you can own what you’ve done or not done to make the situation worse and take responsibility for what is indeed your part in the whole mess. Once you do this, you can focus on solutions. And you will have done a bit of letting go just by becoming aware of what influenced how you’ve been showing up.

4. Be disciplined and focused

Stay present with whatever or whoever makes these circumstances challenging considering what you can and cannot control. Also, use discipline and focus to monitor yourself, so you’re thoughtfully responding not mindlessly reacting.

5. Confess and forgive

Own up to your part in the situation at least to yourself. Then, let go of any attachment you have to things like being right, to being a victim, or to doing things the old way so you don’t have to change. That’s what forgiveness is – letting go of the attachment to a situation that keeps you stuck relitigating the past.

You may indeed be right. You may indeed be a victim. The old way of doing things may indeed be better. Just let go of your attachment to those things because in the present situation they aren’t helpful. You can’t transform yourself or the situation if you’re distracted by being attached to these kinds of mindsets or conditions.

When you do pay attention to your mindset and actions in these ways, you’ll be able to move through the challenge and change without taking it so personally. Also, you’ll be primed to let go of unproductive behaviors and beliefs you’ve had since childhood, which is the shedding that’s required of you to grow as a person – shedding parts of your ego’s persona and integrating your shadow to become a better, more whole person.

Some would say this is the main point of life.