How to Use Your Fate as a Clue to Your Destiny

Did you ever notice that the challenges and irritations you face are often the exact circumstances you need in order to evolve as a person? These challenges may occur in relationships with others, with projects or initiatives that don’t go as planned, or generally that things don’t go the way you think they ought to. Whenever there is a “rub” that bothers you, it often shows you something about an aspect of who you are now versus who you can become. In short, it is as though these challenges are put in your path as part of your “fate” on purpose.

In Ancient Greece, the well-known myth of the Three Fates explained why life unfolded as it did. The Fates were feminine entities who determined what your life would be. One Fate drew your lot in life, giving you certain characteristics and conditions along with a plot line for your life. Another Fate spun the thread of your life into the larger tapestry of time and gave you a “twist of fate”. The third Fate decided how your life would end and presided at the finish to cut the thread of your life.

Today, we often use the terms “fate” and “destiny” interchangeably, but these terms are two different things. “Fate” is all of the limitations and challenges we encounter throughout our lives (conditions along the path); while “destiny” is our overall purpose or the ultimate contribution we make to the world (the destination). This distinction is key. Reflecting on your fate allows you to examine your life experience to date to maximize the impact you can have now and increase the potential for achieving your ultimate destiny or potential.

So, if you find yourself repeatedly encountering the same frustrating situations, you could think of that irritation as your “fate” poking at you to look at things more closely. Maybe there are characteristics you could change or evolve further. Maybe there are new ways of thinking that could emerge from those specific circumstances. It’s a chance to consciously use your fate to become a better you.

Reflect on your current approach to a frustrating experience, to find and let go of old patterns that don’t work anymore. Then you can adopt new information and learning that will better serve you and those around you.

As you reflect on your “fate,” take note of the following:

• People who were hugely influential to you;

• People who showed up randomly or “out of the blue” to provide guidance or assistance;

• Odd or surprising twists that put you in certain places or positions;

• Odd events that might not even make sense to you yet;

• Themes that keep coming up, even if you haven’t figured out what to do with them yet; and

• Situations that, at the time, seemed negative, but that turned out best in the long run.

As you look backward, what sense can you make of any of it? What clues does this emerging story provide for where you might go next? Which behaviors kept you sane and safe when you were young, but are now getting in the way? What kind of support or new learning would benefit you as you forge ahead?